What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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