well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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