Where did you get a picture of my penis
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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