Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
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I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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