no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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