I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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