Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize