but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Alive.
So much puke
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
