Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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