So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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