the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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