where does the pee come out of this thing
Everything about him screamed your future.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
