My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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