i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
