I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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