Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
