He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
