Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
