God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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