He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
