i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
