sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
