Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
