addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
