she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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