There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
