dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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