I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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