Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
