Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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