Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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