Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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