Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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