Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Farmville is her only friend.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
