something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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