We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
