I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
