was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
