My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
