I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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