All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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