Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
