i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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