Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
