if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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