There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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