He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
