so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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