Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yo dont text me then not text me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You are a genius and a whore.
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