so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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