So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
