I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just cropdusted the office
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
