i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Will exercising make me less horny?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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