Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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