writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We left an ass print on the piano.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
