well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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