Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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