his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize