Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
