To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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