Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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