Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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