Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize