So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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