i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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