Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
