I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize