my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
