did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
